Regrets
by living in a fantasy land
Summary: Regret is a strong feeling. A feeling that haunts you for every second, every minutes of the day... Kyoko has been missing for 2 years; this story will speak of their feelings regarding her disappearance, the incident that changes everything... (Ok, this summary stuff is hard!) Note: I'll try to update the story every Tuesday, next chapter will be on 22 October 2013. Thanks.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Sad to say I do not own any of the Skip Beat Universe, it all belongs to Yoshiki Nakamura Sensei

AN:

Ok, this is my first ever fanfiction. I've been reading FF for 1 – 2 years now, and suddenly this plot bunny attached itself in my head and gives me some sleepless night. I hope I don't take anyone's plot, but I've read more than a bunch and most are jumbled in my brain :p I typed this story in my Blackberry last night, transfer it to my PC this morning and here we go… kindly give me constructive inputs all. Thank you everyone. Hope you enjoy it

**Regrets**

Chapter 1

Ren POV

_'It's been 2 years since I last saw her. Her voice, her laugh, her name is haunting me. I see her and hear her soft laugh everywhere. When I hear her name, my eyes are searching for her, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, hoping that she's really there, at an arms' length away. Hoping that she'll give me a chance to tell her that I love her, to tell her how sorry I am, to beg for her forgiveness. Even though I know I don't deserve her forgiveness. I hurt her. Every time I close my eyes, I see her hurtful expression. All I want is to make her happy, but I...'_

"Ren... Ren..." said Yashiro, breaking my thoughts.

"Yes?"

"President called. He asks us to see him tonight after your last filming."

"Ok, thanks Yashiro"

Yashiro POV

_'He's a million miles away. Kyoko, where are you? He's a wreck without you by his side. Oh, I know he's Japan's number 1 actor, but even I can see that he's distracted on the set. Did you two have a fight or something? Why didn't you leave any notes? It's been 2 years and still no words from you. Sigh... Kyoko, please come back soon.'_

Moko POV

_'Mo! Some friends she was! 2 years, not a word, no notes, not even a phone call letting me know she's okay and not in a ditch somewhere. I don't care anymore! Do you hear me you stupid girl? I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!'_

Ren POV

_'No one knows why she left. I knew that it's my fault. She left because of me. She left everything and everyone that she loves because of me. I caused it. Me and my stupid temper.'_

_'Is she okay? Where is she? What has she been doing for these 2 years? She really loves acting, maybe... No, no, I would have heard of her if she's still in the acting industry. That talent of hers, even without LME's name, will make a huge splash in the industry. She stopped acting because of me. Kyoko, I'm sorry...'_

AN: I have a third of the next chapter ready. It doesn't feel right to put it in the 1st chapter, so I want to put it the next chapter. Tell me what you think so far? Thank you for reading. R&R please


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Sad to say I do not own any of the Skip Beat Universe, it all belongs to Yoshiki Nakamura Sensei

**Regrets**

Chapter 2

– 2 years ago –

"Tsuruga sempai" said Kyoko, while holding his wrist. Hoping and begging for Ren to acknowledge her. This situation reminded Kyoko of her childhood memories.

Kyoko POV (Flashback)

She runs home happily bringing her test result. 95 out of 100! She received the best mark in her class! "Mother will be proud of me" she said to herself smiling.

She stayed quiet seeing her mother was on the phone. She fidgeted though in her silent begging for her mother to acknowledge her presence. Feeling bothered, her mother hung up the call, grabbed her and shook her.

"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO BOTHER ME WHILE I'M ON THE PHONE?!"

"But Mother, look, look, look... I've got 95 on my test! The teacher said that I got the best mark in th..."

*SMACK*

"THIS IS WHY YOU'RE BOTHERING ME?! ANY LESS THAN 100 ARE NOT EVEN WORTH MENTIONING! YOU'RE GOOD FOR NOTHING! NOW LEAVE AND STOP BOTHERING ME"

_'I've lost count of how often I cried. My mother wanted perfection, nothing less. I worked harder and harder to score 100 in every subject. But even then, she never looks at me with pride in her eyes. No matter what I did, my mother never once praised my results, never once she hugged and smiled at me, never once she acknowledged me. I feel alone.'_

_'Corn helped me fell less __alone__. __He's __my own fairy prince, my rock to lean on, taking away all my sadness. Meeting him and our times spent at that clearing are the only bright spots in my childhood.'_

'_Those bright spots illuminated my heart, my talisman against the world's cruelty. When I feel the world's closing on me, I let the memories wash over me. When I cried for being bullied and had no friends to talk to, I know that I have a true friend in Corn. He became the pillar that supports my heart. I feel as long as I have him as a friend, I can stand against the world.'_

'_And then I heard Sho's words. I felt that I had been living in a fantasy land and that it shattered when I hear those despicable words. I felt that I knew the harshness of the world; I felt that I knew that people are always not what they seem, and how cruel things one can do to others. The light in my heart dimmed in comparison of the darkness of it all. Blindsided with revenge, I pushed myself to join the Entertainment world. I vow never to open my heart again.' _

'_I remember the first time I met Tsuruga Sempai, and how after that first meeting, his attitudes towards me kept getting worst. I feel that people have too many faces, and Tsuruga Sempai is one of the worst. His appearance and his manner are of the perfect gentleman, and yet he has a thousand faces behind that mask. But then I found the joy in acting, the love of learning and the love for the characters that I develop. I felt that my relationship with Tsuruga Sempai was better by leaps and bounds. He understood my need to find myself through acting and not using it as the tools of revenge anymore.'_

'_As time went on, I sometimes felt when Tsuruga Sempai drops his mask utterly, I saw Corn inside of Tsuruga Sempai. I was intrigued. Is Tsuruga Sempai really is Corn? If he is, why didn't he tell me? What happened that changed the pure beautiful fairy prince that I know to the broken man in front of me know?'_

'_The question went unanswered, but I know I saw recognition and memories played out in his face sometimes. The way his eyes held laughter and the way he teased me with small reference to our childhood memories. Why didn't I see that before? Was I that blinded by revenge that I lost sight of everything else?'_

'_I never told Tsuruga Sempai about my suspicion regarding Corn. I felt that he'll let me know once he's ready. The light in my heart rekindled with my new memories of Corn. The knowledge that he's right beside me and he'll be there for me whenever I ever need a friend, a shoulder to lean on, intensified the bright light in my heart.'_

_'I know now what I should've seen then. What happened with Sho is fate in the making. There's some similarity between Mother and him. Both never once lend a shoulder to cry on, give praise for a job well done or an encouragement to achieve better results__. The up and down of my life is of no consequence for them__. The only difference was Sho acknowledged my presence grudgingly while Mother won't even see me standing in front of her (unless to shove me out of her way). I believed that's why I clung to Sho the way I did. With him beside me, I didn't feel alone. How to explain it... Not lonely, because I still feel lonely sometimes even when Sho is right beside me... With Sho there, I didn't feel alone, as in "only myself" against the world. Does that make sense?'_

AN:

Ok, I'm going to stop this chapter here. Sorry for the 1st paragraph teaser, I planned to put what happen 2 years ago in the next chapter. What happen in those 2 years will be farther down the road though. I haven't started the next chapter and I want to put this upfront: I will try to upload this story every Tuesday (this 2nd chapter is an exception ^_^), but my internet cannot be trusted to be working properly all the time and I'm still trying whether I can upload from my Blackberry… again, kindly give me constructive inputs all. R&R please. Thank you everyone. Hope you enjoy it


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